Medicine?

I just went to my therapist an I might be put on medication. And ps I think my mom is crying in her office right now.

Blog therapy

I know this is suppose to be about my anxiety but I just need to rant for a minute so bear with me..so my friend came out that that she was bisexual and her mom completely disowned her and it's not pretty. So my mom decided to become a therapist a show up at her house and get them to talk. The. When she came home she was already pissed and. I admit that I had an attitude but it wasn't we place to get in the middle of that.so long story short, the lecture turned to me being disrespectful, having no heart, and being like my dad( wtf?) and then I got in trouble AGAIN for not saying sorry to her ( what was I suppose to say sorry for?) and this morning it was silent all the way to school. The. I got 5 texts from her saying how she was disappointed I didn't tell her I loved her when she left and that I was to take the bus in the morning. Shun. So I'm in my computer class typing this because I simply couldn't get it off my mind. I'm sure you'll hear more about this.. But thanks Internet, for listening.

Not much happening

Not much has happened since last time, just the normal school then band everyday. Speaking of band, I have a home game this Friday! And I'm actually good excited for it! I actually like looking forward to something. I'm loud in band too! I dance in the stands, yell the occasional whoos and heys. And I have FUN. I suggest marchig band to anyone with social anxiety. It's just a miracle worker. It's hell at first. Having to run laps if you're not loud enough or having to play by yourself on the 50 (eek!) but it really pays off. I love it.

It's not how far you have left, it's the distance from which you started

I realized today that I haven't really given myself credit for the little things I have accomplished. A year or two ago, I couldn't go in a grocery store, order my own food, or stand in line without freaking out. Granted - it's still not the easiest thing to do. I still stutter and fidget my fingers but I don't shake or start sweating. I'm focusing so much on the big goals, I forget about the small goals. Like saying hi to new people and asking for a refill.
I surprised myself a couple weeks ago at my first home game. The marching band had lemonade and cookies with the opposing teams marching band. I didn't even hesitate to start talking to people and introducing myself. Part of it was that being in uniform boosted my confidence a little- but still! That's a great improvement from wanting to run the opposite direction and sitting by myself.
I may not be finished, but I'm getting there. After all, most of the trip is the journey.

Intro to my life

I really don't care if anyone reads this, I just always wanted to start a diary and this is a diary that people are less likely to find ( I'm not very good at hiding things) well as a first blog, I'll start off by telling about me -if anyone cares. I love love music. I play piano flute violin and soon I'll play piccolo. I'm in marching band( a whole bother blog about that later) I love to bake too. So I'm always on pinterest. And oh yeah SOCIAL ANXIETY CONTROLLS MY LIFE. I'm currently doing better, but I've had it for as long as I can remember. I'm in therapy and I'm pretty sure y'all will be hearing about some of that ( yes im from the south). So that's my life in a paragraph..